


To Train the Chosen

by zoryany



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Genre: Character Study, Gen, Insecurity, Late night thoughts, Master & Padawan Relationship(s), One Shot, POV Second Person, Post-Star Wars: The Phantom Menace, Pre-Star Wars: Attack of the Clones
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-09
Updated: 2019-08-09
Packaged: 2020-08-16 03:27:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 999
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20179969
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zoryany/pseuds/zoryany
Summary: After a mission doesn't go quite as planned, Obi-Wan considers his padawan, doubting his ability to train someone with so much power.





	To Train the Chosen

**Author's Note:**

> This is a drabble I wrote on tumblr a little while back. I've kept it in second person because I find that POV works really well for my writing style in this. At any rate, enjoy Obi-Wan being too much of a Jedi to give Anakin anything resembling the actual comfort and care he desperately needs.

Giving in to your frustration is not something you do particularly often, but tonight you have allowed it to overtake you. Despite the exhaustion nipping at your sense, you pace the length of the small living space several times, agitation refusing to let you rest as you struggle to release your feelings into the Force. This should be easier for you. Meditation has never proven to be this difficult in the past. That anxiety twisting in your stomach, though, coupled with the fresh, harsh sting of failure biting the back of your neck, blocks the light of the Force from your reach.

_Technically,_ the mission had been a success. The primary objective of protecting the villagers and brining them peace had been met. But the ideal outcome of “no unnecessary casualties or collateral damage” was not _quite_ achieved. Negotiations had been going well, certainly smoother than you’re accustomed to, but a small fight broke out and only escalated further after the first lightsaber had been lit. It had taken all your skills to calm proceedings back down to a point of reason, and it took all your control not to reveal your dismay at how close this mission had come to complete and utter ruin.

With a heavy, weary sigh, you rest your chin in your hand and turn to consider the _cause_ of your anxieties as he lays curled up and snoring softly on the couch before you. For a moment, you simply watch the way his nostrils twitch with each breath, you trace the crease that lines his brow as he dreams, and you wonder just what it is you’re meant to do with him. You feel no disappointment or anger towards his lack of restraint – only in yourself, as you fight a small wave of shame. It may have been your padawan who had acted without thinking and lit his saber, but it was _your training_ that got him there.

Packed into the tall, lanky teenage frame of your student is a degree of _power,_ raw, untapped and unmatched by any being you’ve ever encountered. The pure potential of his strength far outstrips that of yourself or anyone else within the order – perhaps even beyond – and he knows it. _The Chosen One_ is a title he’s worn since he was nine years old, and it has followed him and nearly defined him since. It’s bred a sort of _arrogance_ within him that you aren’t quite certain how to counter. Such power requires strong training to match it, to shape him into the Jedi he is meant to be, but you fear you’ll never reach him, that he’ll never listen or learn the discipline you work so tirelessly to instill, and you worry just what effect that might have on him.

What would your master say if he could see you now? How would he react if he could see your struggles? There are moments when it feels as though everything rests upon your unprepared shoulders, as though the present and future both ride on your actions. As you consider the implications, you can almost hear him telling you to focus on what _is,_ rather than what _might be._ To be mindful of the present. To do what you can with what you have.

And isn’t that just it? How are you meant to focus on the present – on the _living Force_ – when so much of the future hinges on the actions of yourself and this _chosen boy?_

You heave another sigh – perhaps too loudly this time, since your padawan _twitches_ at the sound. Freezing in your tracks, you flick your hand just a hair and project _calm_ towards him, if only so he can settle back into a restful slumber. “Oh, Anakin… what am I going to do with you?” You maintain faith in him, because he is still _young,_ still learning, still gaining the skills he needs to succeed, but it is your faith in yourself that wavers. How can someone like _you_ hope to train a boy such as this? He is meant to surpass you in talent, meant for something greater than himself, so how can you _possibly_ be up to the task of training him?

“I will do what I can for you. I owe you and Master Qui-Gon that much. But I can make no promises. How can I, when we both know how ill-prepared I am to train someone like you? Whatever happens, though, I do need you to work with me. To listen. And then, perhaps, I might be able to do right by you.” There is an odd ease in speaking these words to his sleeping form, when you know he cannot respond, and your guilt only grows when you consider the fact that you cannot speak them to his face. How could you? It would mean admitting weakness and risk the loss of any respect that he’d garnered for you. No. It would be best if you handled this on your own and relied on the Jedi Code for guidance, seeking wisdom through the Force. “Please know that I have _faith_ in you.” It is yourself that you do not trust. But it is within yourself that you must find the answers. That thought is what allows you to touch the Force and find peace enough to seek rest, because the present _will_ affect the future, and your anxieties will help neither you nor your student.

Tomorrow is a new day, and you will face it without troubling your padawan with the fears that have forced rest beyond your grasp. He need not carry the burden that has settled on your shoulders. He already has one large enough on his own. Your struggle is yours alone, and you will face it as you have every other trial in your life – with the Force as your guide. “Rest well, Anakin. The Force is with you, and you will be a great Jedi someday. I will not fail you.”


End file.
